5.14.2010

optimist

the last place i would think of looking
is right where i always find
whatever im looking for

the last time i attempt something
is the time it always seems
i get it done

if i want sun it rains
if im sad everyone smiles at me
if i want to be alone
there's freakin people everywhere
if i want to sleep there's noise
pounding on my head around me
they don't give a crap
and i dont care

it makes me sick
the way people act
nice to your face
and then flip you off
when you turn your back

you can try all you want
to treat others
the way you want
to be treated
it might soothe your conscience
it might help you sleep at night
but as soon as you walk out the door
society will wrong your rights

the views of an optimist
all wrapped up
in a soggy paper wad of reality
dripping all over my shoes
falling apart through my fingers

my lofty ideals arent keeping me warm anymore
what once was fire-hot has burned out cold
i guess ive been slapped across the face
with the big hand of
"wake up smell the shit boy"

maybe someday things will turn around
then maybe people will learn
to appreciate each other again
until that day i will keep trudging on
keep washing the dirt
off what lies beyond
until either it or me is gone

Tell me

"Tell me the story
Tell me what you think
Tell me," she says.

I can't tell you what I'm thinking
That would reveal my heart.

I'm living in a dreamland
In my brain
Deep inside my brain.

If you want to open your mind
You have to close your eyes.

Close em up
Close em up tight
Shut in the darkness
Shut out the light
Embrace what you can't see
Don't put up a fight
Tell me you want to stay.

"Tell me the story
Tell me what you think
Tell me," she says.

If I told you what I'm thinking
It would tear my world apart.

I'm living in a dreamland
In my brain
Deep inside my brain.

If you want to open your mind
You have to close your eyes.

Close em up
Close em up tight
Shut in the darkness
Shut out the light
Embrace what you can't see
Don't put up a fight
Tell me you want to stay.

The End

Memories gather in the corners of your mind
Like wind-blown fall sidewalk leaves
A line of tomorrows coating them with frost
One by one,
Until the soft heavy snows of age all but buries them.
Forgotten until the gentle warm thaw
Inspires new memories to grow
From the frozen yesterdays.

Across the dark wood polished floor races the boy in stocking feet
Reaching for the curtains as he slides down the hall
Over the kitchen linoleum past the phone on the wall.

Glancing out the window it's raining outside but he smiles
An afternoon without a care or concern in the world
Except finding the name of the next-door neighbor girl.

Memories gather in the corners of your mind
Like wind-blown fall sidewalk leaves
A line of tomorrows coating them with frost
One by one,
Until the soft heavy snows of age all but buries them.
Forgotten until the gentle warm thaw
Inspires new memories to grow
From the frozen yesterdays.

Flying above the world way way high
Never looking down as he flies far away
Putting his life in a sack on his back
And flying away.

Gliding on the wind just above the trees
Just pedal power like riding his bike
No one to stop him no one to say,
"Come back down to earth you misfit castaway."

Sailing towards the sunset
Until the sun rises again
Pedaling towards his destination
Until he sees the end.

Nothing

Nothing's like the emptiness that lives within a discouraged soul
Turned away from the warmth of a smiling face
Pushed away from the inviting space
Of open arms.

Nothing's like the sadness that inspires tears on a summer afternoon
Burning inside to finally fall onto the grass below
When the others are laughing around
Smiles and fun.

It's tough to have to take a bitter pill
It's even harder when your throat is dry from screaming.

Encouraged to run
An enraged mindless race to the end
Friends are foes, your foes aren't friends
Look around you're all alone and cold as stone
You broke when you should have bent.

Nothing's like the bottomless pit you drop into without faith
Paper hands tear as you grasp for help
Falling towards your hell.

Nothing's like feeling nothing at all
Nothing to stimulate
Nothing to captivate
Nothing to rehabilitate

Nothing.

an apology

blistering heat from the scourged and scoured sun is turning and burning my skin to a radiant dayglow rainbow  of blues purples and reds alm...