4.29.2010

ten times

ten times today i stood back
and looked around expecting to find
a way to clear my mind

eleven times today i stood still
and listened for the whisper in my ear
telling me my mind was clear

twelve times tonight i took my time
standing on the side of the road looking back
trying to stay ahead of the pack

thirteen times tonight i took my place
standing on the side of the hill looking down
trying to stay above the climbing crowd

i can't count how many times
i've tried to back down
i've tried to back out
telling myself i could accomplish
something i couldn't
convincing myself of the things
i shouldn't
it's all good

some things that make me better
some things that won't
other things that keep me together
other things that don't
trying to feel myself again
is tough to do
when my hands are tied
to you
chains weigh me down
can't move

i can't count how many times
i've tried to back down
i've tried to back out
telling myself i could accomplish
something i couldn't
convincing myself of the things
i shouldn't
it's not so good

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