evidence

living or dying
is hardly a choice
it's a decision
to die as a result
or live with the consequences

comparing the world i see
to the world that appears to me
on the other side of the fence

is like wrestling with invisible foes
but it's a struggle nonetheless

makes my eyes ache
and my muscles tense
digging for clues to the unknown
searching for camouflaged evidence

so cunning in it's disguise
hidden in plain view
looking like everything else around it
bathed in a baby's innocence

sleep

curl up with a good book
at the end of a day
dont forget to close the curtains
turn out the light
oh to sleep the sleep of the dead
just try to have a dreamless night
just try

masses of faceless robots stare at me
through the wind
their metal oily greasy fingers grabbing
at my skin
lost in empty houses where i swear
ive never been

spirits curve around my brain
and freeze me
voices from way back when
just tease me

no longer are my dreams an escape
theyre just a new slippery slope
to the dark side of my brain

coming down on the other side
of the med
its the catalyst of the melee
in my head
a love hate relationship
when im in rem

but it does color
my subliminal state
without it i would be
swimming in ashen gray
im a slave to the benefits
i dont want to escape

i live on a slippery slope
to the dark side of my brain

cast away

without control exists chaos
and chaotic existence kills life

disagreeing with the masses
or not following the leader's lead
temporarily creates diversion
camouflages internal need

casting away individuality
is not clamping on the chains
identifing loss of indemnity
hides eternal flames

and creating existence
to extinguish it
and building just to raze
sequesters juried evidence
blocks the light
creates more night
and less days

without control exists chaos
and chaotic existence kills life

waves

the dreams came pouring
out of her mind like rain
translucent waves
of cool blue membrane
past reflections
and distant horizons yet to gain

masking her mask
with a mask of indifference
committing to both
while maintaining her innocence
the facade of smile or frown
does not reflect real intelligence

her inner being soon melted
to her core so pure and smooth
the pathway to her innocence
overshadowed by her mood

she danced
and she captured face of the moon
in her fingertips
she swam across the ocean
with a siren's song on her lips

she sang
she sang the song of the sky from her heart
she swam across the waters
until the heavens fell apart

Idolatry

With no feeling in his hands
he could touch
The sun.
But with no feeling in his heart
he'd never touch
The Face of God.

empty

ive been sitting here
watching life go by
watching the rain fall
seeing the puddles dry
looking for rainbows
out of my cloudy eyes
but all ive seen so far
is an empty sky

ive been sitting here
trying to smile and sing
trying to put into song
all the trouble life brings
trying to tie together
a few of the empty things
and make a new lifeline
out of a lifeless string

for you

cold thunder rolls like boulders
over thin tin rooftops
bright blinding lightning crackles down to earth
heavy metal raindrops pound on me like cast iron fists
as i run to the hills

tripping on my undone shoestrings
slipping on mossy grey stone
flashing crashes shaking me to the bone
grasping branches rip my skin as i push thru
as i run to the hills
for you

youll never know
where i go
what i do
for you

youll never understand
what kind of man
i am
for you

ears

buzzing
one thousand crickets at night
a jungle heavy with the cacophony of life

whistling
one hundred teapots on high
winter winds down a rocky mountain side

a pulsing layer of omnipresent static
melts over every tone that i hear
the clipped signals get further filtering
as they pass to my brain
from my ears

piercing
the aural knives slice and dice
reducing musical flavor to tasteless bits

screaming
a thousand birds in a thousand cages
terrified children running across a stage

trials and spirits

keeping the boiling turmoil controlled
wrapped tightly in an angry ball
in the pit of my inner being it hisses
anxiety seeps
between the knots.

but the rolling mass does not escape
it remains within my grasp
locked inside a nervous embrace
pushed down
until it stops.

in the throes of death it lashes out
against psychological constraints
dwindling, whining as the fire grows cold
one last gasp
to influence my thoughts.

the ghost rises skyward out of sight
my spirit regains it's strength
i can once again control my fate
during the trials
and tribulations
of life.

optimist

the last place i would think of looking
is right where i always find
whatever im looking for

the last time i attempt something
is the time it always seems
i get it done

if i want sun it rains
if im sad everyone smiles at me
if i want to be alone
there's freakin people everywhere
if i want to sleep there's noise
pounding on my head around me
they don't give a crap
and i dont care

it makes me sick
the way people act
nice to your face
and then flip you off
when you turn your back

you can try all you want
to treat others
the way you want
to be treated
it might soothe your conscience
it might help you sleep at night
but as soon as you walk out the door
society will wrong your rights

the views of an optimist
all wrapped up
in a soggy paper wad of reality
dripping all over my shoes
falling apart through my fingers

my lofty ideals arent keeping me warm anymore
what once was fire-hot has burned out cold
i guess ive been slapped across the face
with the big hand of
"wake up smell the shit boy"

maybe someday things will turn around
then maybe people will learn
to appreciate each other again
until that day i will keep trudging on
keep washing the dirt
off what lies beyond
until either it or me is gone

Tell me

"Tell me the story
Tell me what you think
Tell me," she says.

I can't tell you what I'm thinking
That would reveal my heart.

I'm living in a dreamland
In my brain
Deep inside my brain.

If you want to open your mind
You have to close your eyes.

Close em up
Close em up tight
Shut in the darkness
Shut out the light
Embrace what you can't see
Don't put up a fight
Tell me you want to stay.

"Tell me the story
Tell me what you think
Tell me," she says.

If I told you what I'm thinking
It would tear my world apart.

I'm living in a dreamland
In my brain
Deep inside my brain.

If you want to open your mind
You have to close your eyes.

Close em up
Close em up tight
Shut in the darkness
Shut out the light
Embrace what you can't see
Don't put up a fight
Tell me you want to stay.