blistering heat
from the scourged and scoured sun
is turning and burning my skin
to a radiant dayglow rainbow
of blues purples and reds
almost as cosmetically vibrant
as the playful autumn leaves
shifting and drifting in swirling hot waves
as they dance to feverish mirliton serenades
over and around my broken body and mind
from ground level view the weeds rise tall
thistle crowns clover and dandelions
push skyward obscuring my vision
as the weeks creep by I lie
no more rivers
no more sky
my vision grows dimmer oh my eyes
and my muscles grow weak and sore
i know that even though i can't move them now
i can't move them anymore
the resurgent trees
suspend me now
branches spreading through my soul
compromising my fragile mortality
but physical pain has long since subsided
tears have lost their meaning
i can almost see the ground below
is this what it feels like to die
or is this what it feels like to live
ive risen so much been lifted up so high
by something so incomprehensively grand
without asking of me a thing to give
please forgive us mother nature earth
we have taken shaken and forsaken thee
only time will help us now
do with mankind as you will
life is over for me
i know that i cant speak for the rest of humanity
but i'm sorry...
Welcome to The Machine: Literary Works.
9.21.2017
fml and me
truth be told there is no truth
only smiling lies spoon fed to us
since our carpet-crawling baby days of youth.
lies we were told to swallow like bad medicine
don’t you dare spit them out
for Christ’s sake keep them in.
of course the ones who passed along what they believed
were only a product of what their own parents had conceived
there is plenty of fault to go around
plenty of ignorant necks to hang
the shame and blame about
the cycle goes on forever
the give and the receive.
can it really be possible to break the chains
to swim against the swirling current
to row valiantly against the red tide
to vomit forth the grisly mass
of delusional loyalty built up inside
after generations of acceptance
just fucking stop
and start thinking for ourselves?
it’s sad really sad
hurts really bad
like a wagon ride pounding down a cobblestone street
when my pounding head needs extra pain relief
like a stab of light when I open my eyes to see
might as well keep them shut all the time.
FML and me…
only smiling lies spoon fed to us
since our carpet-crawling baby days of youth.
lies we were told to swallow like bad medicine
don’t you dare spit them out
for Christ’s sake keep them in.
of course the ones who passed along what they believed
were only a product of what their own parents had conceived
there is plenty of fault to go around
plenty of ignorant necks to hang
the shame and blame about
the cycle goes on forever
the give and the receive.
can it really be possible to break the chains
to swim against the swirling current
to row valiantly against the red tide
to vomit forth the grisly mass
of delusional loyalty built up inside
after generations of acceptance
just fucking stop
and start thinking for ourselves?
it’s sad really sad
hurts really bad
like a wagon ride pounding down a cobblestone street
when my pounding head needs extra pain relief
like a stab of light when I open my eyes to see
might as well keep them shut all the time.
FML and me…
puppy cries
i threw my coat on
unzipped and flapping in the morning wind
blowing around the corner
of the house
down the sidewalk i saw a small black pup with big brown eyes
looking so tiny he could fit in my pocket
small as a mouse
as i approached him oh so slowly
he seemed to want to run
i called him and offered out my hand
with a quiet smile
with hesitation and a bit of fear he came closer to me little wags of his tail
his little body was cold I could tell
hungry and tired
he smelled my fingers
his little tongue licked my thumb
he drew nearer to me needing my warmth
i bent down and gently picking him up walked back home
he ate every morsel of the kibble I put down
and drank up every drop
when he finally finished his belly was so full and round
i thought he just might pop
his little eyes closed slowly as I rubbed that pudgy belly
and he drifted off to a puppy sleep
not sure where he came from
but he was welcome in my home forever.
unzipped and flapping in the morning wind
blowing around the corner
of the house
down the sidewalk i saw a small black pup with big brown eyes
looking so tiny he could fit in my pocket
small as a mouse
as i approached him oh so slowly
he seemed to want to run
i called him and offered out my hand
with a quiet smile
with hesitation and a bit of fear he came closer to me little wags of his tail
his little body was cold I could tell
hungry and tired
he smelled my fingers
his little tongue licked my thumb
he drew nearer to me needing my warmth
i bent down and gently picking him up walked back home
he ate every morsel of the kibble I put down
and drank up every drop
when he finally finished his belly was so full and round
i thought he just might pop
his little eyes closed slowly as I rubbed that pudgy belly
and he drifted off to a puppy sleep
not sure where he came from
but he was welcome in my home forever.
when dreams mix
strange moments like these seem a lifetime ago
and part of someone else's past
they sit back in one dark corner of my brain
waiting for me to think about them again.
when i've been drinking too much
or see an old friend in my sleep
or hear an old song or smell a smell
that i just can't remember what it means to me
oh when my dreams mix
with my memories
it's tough to tell them apart
and after enough time passes by
separating them is so hard
it makes me wonder
if what i recall
isn't real at all...
it makes me wonder
if the past i remember
is make believe
just fantasy...
a figment as they say
product of a warped imagination
the result of too many drugs
others call it creative insanity
oh yes they get it
but no one listens to them
so they all shake their heads
and settle for a big weird group hug
but i'm not like that
i know what's going on
i know i'm in control
just don't follow me ok
i march to my own drum
now let me sleep
i have my future to create...
the seers (part I)
pulling at their leash
pulling against their hand
pulling against their restriction of life
pushing against their wall
pushing against their will
pushing against their boundaries of life
the seers say:
the binds that hold you down
are also keeping you safe
with your best interests in mind
they prevent your escape
open minds are also open
to fear, sin, and pain
evil thoughts, evil deeds, evil acts
will surely warp the unprotected brain…
straining to see over
straining to see around
straining to hear the sounds of life
counting the minutes
counting on my hands
counting on the circle of life
but the seers say:
the bars that hold you in
are also keeping enemies out
with our best intentions at heart
we’re removing all doubt
we can’t just sit by
and let your soul be lost
evil thoughts, evil deeds, evil acts
will surely bring about the ultimate cost…
as i sit on the curb
and wait for the light to dim
i can feel hope slowly melting away
resistance is low
no strength to fight
exactly the result they’re planning on
i thought to myself
no way am i giving up…
to be continued
take it from me
every old worn out today is the same
as an armful of brand new yesterdays
quit trying to replace the future
with things from the past
it aint gonna work
and it won’t stand the test of time
that’s not how life’s supposed to be
you’ll find out soon enough
take it from me
all your childlike tantrums fall flat
when you aren’t a child but act that way
quit trying to bring back
what has already passed
it didn’t work before
and you’re stupid to even try
that’s not how you’re supposed to be
you’ll find out soon enough
take it from me
slow down and take a look back
at where you’ve been
should retrace your steps or not
which direction do they go
where do they lead
just remember…
not every step forward is a step up
and not all steps back are only down
try to learn from your mistakes
and cherish each victory
each new day has a keyhole
and each has a key
knowing which to use and when
is the difference between
standing still
falling back
or moving ahead
from where you’ve been
happy happy joy joy
happy thoughts happy pictures happy photographs
fleeting across the landscape of my brain
smiling faces smiling people smiling photographs
floating across like bubbles in the rain
joyful hearts joyful souls joy filled photographs
i wanna sing i wanna dance i want to laugh
for once in i don’t know how long
i actually feel like i belong
unpacking my things
letting down my guard
doesn’t feel so wrong
in this warm cozy sunny wonderful world
where each bird saliently sings his soliloquy
to the young skipping freckled girls…
with playful fuzzy puppies and flowering flowers
and no black killing disease
where fluttering butterflies and cotton clouds
surf whirling waves of sunshine
in the laughing afternoon vanilla breeze
happy thoughts happy pictures
shit they’re all gone
wtf happened?
the smiles nope and the bubbles all popped
they’re just wet fucking circles on the dirty ground
i wanted to stay there you assholes—let me go
you bind my hands and take my pants
and stab my arms instead
I’m confused
was i hurting anyone
was i being a threat to society
i wasn’t jumping off a building or anything
they hold me down but don’t talk to me
this is my reality.
for the world to see
here i sit behind locked door
held forever in an icy prison
my ass stuck to the floor
so numb and blue
i got no feeling left
except frosty feelings for you
i can see beyond the bars
a warm world outside
full of happiness and joy and smiles
but in here i’m so unbelievably cold
and every day I age i’m getting so old…
my fingers can’t hold anything
you’re frozen solid in my brain
it’s my own frigid siberian hell
there’s no escaping i know
there’s no way to break out of this cell…
why do you drag me like a carcass behind your cart
all the people laugh at what’s left of my heart
they all point look and shake their heads
weaving through the city streets
the shattered remains of my love
on display for the world to see…
static
he sits alone on the precipice of his life looking down
he dares not look up for fear of losing his grip
to tip the precarious balance
between dark and light
is enough of a push
to make one simple step
a fatal slip
sitting in silence
with the buzzing panic of static in his head
it spreads through his concentration
like a spinning cloud of electric flies
he tries not to notice but it’s no use
he closes his eyes so tight
but it grows louder and louder
until it totally encases his mind
tightly wrapped in a translucent filminess
amber yellow and warm swirling gray
infused by popping and crackling sparks
tenuous fingers pry and poke into his thoughts
cracking open and scrambling his brain
typical ordinary life is the normal exception anymore
just a short intermission as the demon sleeps
that fatal slip is looking more and more tempting
a means to an end
farewell to family foes and friends
brainstems & rainstorms
a systemic resorting of systematic phases
just circular patterns in their symbiotic mazes
synaptic consolation so intense
just the chaotic surface tension
of canvas circus tents
(tragic circumstance)
structural integrity now so compromised
unstable unusual usability grid shows bias
rapid synaptic diminishing of the pendulous arc
moves visual acuity towards abandonment
in light of the dark
brain stems and rain storms
flashes of electric as the funnel forms
refracting reflecting in and off
unfocused eyes
lacking comprehension
blackened depthless dimensions
brain stems and rain storms
torrential bitstreams are now the norm
bridging the bituminous gap
between sighs and cries
crackling transmissions
attempting synaptic emissions
no counter
no response
no reply at all
reactor reaction is null
zero pulse
zero current
zero beat
operation is incomplete…
outlook
choose a view of the current plan
hold it closely in your gentle hands
enjoy your life as long as you can
reach your conclusion, notify me
to slow down, nod, or disagree
the future’s past is all I can see
i can’t explain how you will feel
just be careful to show, conceal
be very cautious to hide, reveal
outlooks change when directions won’t
opinions change when people don’t
pick your poison, where you choose to go
follow your heart at the fork in the road
don’t tarry, don’t stop
don’t you worry about me
I’ll be along soon
I’ll follow suit you’ll see
I’m just mesmerized by the sight of the masses
lulled into action by the orange piper’s flute
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